How to Help a Friend

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There could be a problem if:

You can’t remember the last time his/her weekend didn’t involve drinking.
You often find yourself having to get this friend home from parties or bars, sometimes cleaning up his/her vomit in your car.
Your friend calls you the next day to find out what he/she did and said the night before.
Drinking is interfering with grades, job, friendships, extra-curricular activities, etc.
Your friend has blackouts and asks about what he or she did the night before or pretends to know and laughs it off

Trust your feelings. Don’t wait until your friend ends up in the hospital or worse to bring it up.

What can you do about it?

Talk about your concerns. Most people with serious alcohol problems don’t like to admit it — even to themselves. Your approach is important. Here are some guidelines to help:

Don't talk about it when either of you has been drinking. Know before your talk where help is available — just in case he/she is ready to seek it.

Be objective. Don’t allow emotions to distract you from your goal and don’t let it become a negotiation.

Use "I" statements. "I’m afraid you will get kicked out of FSU" or "I would miss you if you were kicked out of our sorority, fraternity or organization." Pointing the finger or using the word 'you' too much will only back your friend into a corner.

Don't judge. If your friend opens up dialogue, don’t break in. Sometimes just talking can lead to a huge revelation.

Don’t expect your friend to give up all alcohol in one discussion. It’s difficult to predict a reaction. You may not come to a conclusion in one discussion. You have already started the process though with just one discussion!

If your friend is ready to get help, offer to go along to appointments or meetings. Don’t change the dynamics of your friendship — he or she needs some constants. Be supportive and listen when necessary.

Source: The University of Texas at Dallas (http://www.utdallas.edu/thatguy/friend/)